Happy V Day!
If you know me personally, you know I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. For reasons personal to our family, Valentine's Day was a day of mourning, so it was acknowledged, but not celebrated. When I first told JP I don't celebrate it, he thought I was setting him up. But then he went through VDay with me and discovered that I am not joking (and our first VDay was when we had been dating for 2 whole weeks, back when he really wanted to go over the top on stuff...lol). It was this way until....this year.
Enter Jenna in the picture. Two years ago on Valentine's Day, I was less than 48 hours from going into labor. Last year on Valentine's Day she was just about to turn 1 - not really aware of what is happening. This year is the year everyone starts bringing Valentine's to school and making a hoopla about it all. The craziest part of it all? I found myself really getting into it this year. Only to have Jenna be at the beach with the G-Unit for VDay. :( So I made something for JP and hid it where he would find it (with the food in the fridge, of course)! It wasn't anything big or complicated, just something I made by hand because I saw the idea and liked it.
He found it and came in and woke up to say thank you - and make sure he wasn't in trouble if he didn't do anything. That part always makes me laugh! :) I genuinely don't feel like there needs or has to be anything in return. Which is, honestly, how gift giving should be.
I'm not a huge fan of gifts. Somehow this goes again my female DNA, but I'm just not. I'd rather have a sincere hug than a bouquet of flowers or jewelry. For that reason, we don't normally make a big production of gifting or romantic holidays. We were in our pajamas when we got engaged and we generally are in our pajamas for our anniversary. It's the day to day that brings us together and is a measure of us as a couple - and as parents. But as parents, we sometimes have to do what we normally wouldn't (like celebrate Valentine's Day), but we can do it in a reasonable way. I took Jenna's valentines cards to school this morning, even though she wasn't there, because we made them and I still wanted her friends to get them. When I walked into her classroom, I was shocked by the amount of stuff piled on the counters in the room. Candy, juice boxes, cookies. All to go with Valentine's. Ugh. It's all so over the top! We hope to teach her to keep it simple, but realize this might be working against the tide. However, what I loved best about walking in this morning was all of her friends running up to me, looking around behind me, and asking where Jenna was. Such a simple age - they don't care about the Valentine's I brought - they want their friend Jenna.
So it is for me. Don't bring me roses - give me a hug instead. Don't get me jewelry - help me with the grocery shopping instead. Don't make a grand gesture a few times a year - be there with me each day. I've been in the relationships where gifts and flowers happened regularly, but the daily intimacy was not. I know that the flowers and gifts did nothing to ease the sense of being alone I felt in those relationships.
On this Valentine's, I want to take a moment to say thank you to my husband. It would probably surprise people to know I have only gotten flowers from him once - that he runs out at midnight to get cards for Christmas, Mother's Day and my birthday. That he takes me to heart when I tell him know to get a gift or make a big deal out of things. This would drive some women crazy, but for me, it says he is listening to me. Because I told him I don't care about flowers, but I love to be hugged. So he hugs me. I also told him I don't care about jewelry, but I want help on a day to day basis. So he cooks, does laundry, goes grocery shopping and even watches the kiddos when we do a book study. He's not one for grand gestures, but he shows up everyday in so many ways.
JP - we're not perfect, and we have our rough patches, but because we're willing to work at it, it grows. Thank you for being willing to work at it. Thank you for seeing past the Valentine and wanting to be with me. And thank you for giving more than just the Valentine, but giving me you. You are my sunshine. Today and every day.
Happy VDay everyone!
Enter Jenna in the picture. Two years ago on Valentine's Day, I was less than 48 hours from going into labor. Last year on Valentine's Day she was just about to turn 1 - not really aware of what is happening. This year is the year everyone starts bringing Valentine's to school and making a hoopla about it all. The craziest part of it all? I found myself really getting into it this year. Only to have Jenna be at the beach with the G-Unit for VDay. :( So I made something for JP and hid it where he would find it (with the food in the fridge, of course)! It wasn't anything big or complicated, just something I made by hand because I saw the idea and liked it.
He found it and came in and woke up to say thank you - and make sure he wasn't in trouble if he didn't do anything. That part always makes me laugh! :) I genuinely don't feel like there needs or has to be anything in return. Which is, honestly, how gift giving should be.
I'm not a huge fan of gifts. Somehow this goes again my female DNA, but I'm just not. I'd rather have a sincere hug than a bouquet of flowers or jewelry. For that reason, we don't normally make a big production of gifting or romantic holidays. We were in our pajamas when we got engaged and we generally are in our pajamas for our anniversary. It's the day to day that brings us together and is a measure of us as a couple - and as parents. But as parents, we sometimes have to do what we normally wouldn't (like celebrate Valentine's Day), but we can do it in a reasonable way. I took Jenna's valentines cards to school this morning, even though she wasn't there, because we made them and I still wanted her friends to get them. When I walked into her classroom, I was shocked by the amount of stuff piled on the counters in the room. Candy, juice boxes, cookies. All to go with Valentine's. Ugh. It's all so over the top! We hope to teach her to keep it simple, but realize this might be working against the tide. However, what I loved best about walking in this morning was all of her friends running up to me, looking around behind me, and asking where Jenna was. Such a simple age - they don't care about the Valentine's I brought - they want their friend Jenna.
So it is for me. Don't bring me roses - give me a hug instead. Don't get me jewelry - help me with the grocery shopping instead. Don't make a grand gesture a few times a year - be there with me each day. I've been in the relationships where gifts and flowers happened regularly, but the daily intimacy was not. I know that the flowers and gifts did nothing to ease the sense of being alone I felt in those relationships.
On this Valentine's, I want to take a moment to say thank you to my husband. It would probably surprise people to know I have only gotten flowers from him once - that he runs out at midnight to get cards for Christmas, Mother's Day and my birthday. That he takes me to heart when I tell him know to get a gift or make a big deal out of things. This would drive some women crazy, but for me, it says he is listening to me. Because I told him I don't care about flowers, but I love to be hugged. So he hugs me. I also told him I don't care about jewelry, but I want help on a day to day basis. So he cooks, does laundry, goes grocery shopping and even watches the kiddos when we do a book study. He's not one for grand gestures, but he shows up everyday in so many ways.
JP - we're not perfect, and we have our rough patches, but because we're willing to work at it, it grows. Thank you for being willing to work at it. Thank you for seeing past the Valentine and wanting to be with me. And thank you for giving more than just the Valentine, but giving me you. You are my sunshine. Today and every day.
Happy VDay everyone!
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