Cole Family News....

Decluttering today, I found an old high school journal full of old poems I wrote, many from darker days that reflected the sense of isolation and hopelessness I felt then. But that is not what caught my attention. In the midst of ramblings and writing is a poem that made me stop and sit for a bit. I remember this poem, about the masks we wear and how hard it is to take them down. I remember the significance and symbolism it held for me. The hope and pleading that it represented for me. I remember being on a class service trip right before I switched schools, to St. Helena Island, I believe. They told us to pick something that we brought with us, something that meant something to us. We were to bring it to a group exercise and share it with everyone.  It is a reminder to me that, even in my darker days, I chose authenticity. At least to the extend I was capable. Which, in so many ways, was limited, but it was there. Even then I desperately wanted to be seen. I brough...

September is Celebrate Recovery Month!  This is a celebration of the 23+ million Americans - and 400,000+ South Carolinians - in recovery from substance use disorders and addiction.  Why is this important to me?  It's important to me because I owe everything to my recovery. Without it I would be either dead or continuing to live in the absolute hell that my life once was.  The hell of honestly, deeply, truly not wanting to drink, but doing it anyway.  The hell of promising the people I loved that I wouldn't do it again, but doing it - in spite of my absolute belief that I wouldn't.  The hell of resolutely quitting, only to start again, always against my best interests.  The hell of knowing that taking that first drink won't satisfy an urge, but being so driven by the obsession and delusion that it will that to not take that drink would mean giving way to a totally different kind of madness.  There were many other substances, bu...

I saw this statement recently, and I started a train of thought that has stuck with me. How have I done this in my life... ...let me count the ways. Shedding this has been an evolution... ...something that has been context specific. Found sobriety. Started learning about who I am. Started putting this principle in practice. In family relationships. In the context of family who loved me where I was. In friendships. In the content of friends (and a sponsor) who loved me as I was. In love relationships. In the context of a partner who loved me for who I was. And in work. Well...this one is a MFer. Because group think is strong. And people will attack you, and use your authenticity against you, battering your truth to avoid their own. Because authenticity means standing against the grain when not doing so is a compromise to your integrity. It can hurt. And be lonely. And I have felt hurt. And resentful. And misunderstood. And I have felt empowered. Sure....

Mindful (adj): conscious or aware of something. focusing one's awareness on the present moment, especially as part of a therapeutic or meditative technique. This is my prayer for today... Let me see that I AM good, not that I have to BE good. Let me lift others, and be a source of light. Give me a servant's heart, And allow me to rest Knowing that all is as it should be.

" Yes matters to me on a deep level - saying a broad and brave yes to this beautiful world, to love and challenge, and hard laughing and dancing and trying and failing. Yes is totally my jam. But you can't have yes without no . Another way to say it: if you're not careful with your yeses , you start to say no to some very important things without even realizing it. In my rampant yes-yes-yes-ing , I said no , without intending to, to rest, to peace, to groundedness, to listening, to deep and slow connection, built over years instead of moments.  All my yeses brought me to a shallow way of living - an exhausting, frantic lifestyle that actually ended up having little resemblance to that deep, brave yes I was searching for. And so if you, like me, have said too many yeses , and found that all that hopeful, exciting, wide-open intention has actually left you scraped raw and empty, the word that can change everything is no ." -Shauna Niequist, Present Over ...

We are, in each moment, as we are meant to be. Happiness. Joy. Trials. Tribulation. They are the experiences of life that forge who we are, shape our gifts. We are the ones who choose whether they chip away the best or the worst of us. In January 2016 I attended a Daring Way weekend with a group of amazing ladies. We reflected on the parts of us that need to be buried, put to rest. We reflected on those things that need to be brought up, refined in the light. We considered the duality of these, how they are necessary opposites for our growth and development, and how, in the end, they cannot exist in the same time and space.  As we wrapped up the weekend, we meditated on these to this song:  I am Light - India Arie I felt lighter walking out of that space. A new beginning, a shedding of a skin that no longer served me. That is how this walk works, the peeling away of that which hinders our growth, that blocks us from becoming that which serves the greater good. ...