Do as I say, not as I do...right?
Ha! Not so much.
That title kept coming to mind, since it is so much our instinct to want to do this with our children. For example, JP and I make a concerted effort not to curse around Jenna. Yeah, don't judge. Any and ever one who knows us knows this area leaves a lot of improvement for both of us. Should we slip up and Jenna start repeating it, as she does (she doesn't miss one word or phrase...ever), what is the est course of action? If we act shocked, it encourages the behavior. If we laugh same thing. If we tell her that's a bad word, what is that telling her, since she learned it from Mommy or Daddy? At the end of the day, this has already happened, and we have learned the best course of action is no reaction. When we don't react, she says it a couple of times in quick succession, and then moves on to something else. But these things are the obvious things. The things she models immediately. These are the things we think of most often when we think of children Jenna's age. But what are the real lessons she is learning?
Let me use an example to illustrate the point of this question. Yesterday, as Mommy was stereo-typically cleaning the inside of the house and Daddy was stereo-typically mowing the lawn (no leading in the choice words here...lol), Jenna promptly pulls the broom out of the closet and starts "sweeping" the floor. As she is doing so , she says, "Mommy broom" or "Mommy sweep." A little later, JP walks in the house, and she grabs one of his push up bars, gets down on it and starts to mock doing a push up. As she is doing that, she says, "Daddy workout" or "Daddy pull up" (I'll have more on the pull up in a minute). As she did this, it struck me that we have somehow managed to already teach her some very stereo-typical gender roles - as in Mommy cleans and Daddy works out. JP said we somehow are teaching this to her. Which is interesting, given that JP honestly cleans, cooks and does as much laundry as I do, and I work out just as much as he does.
But then it occurred to me...JP tends to clean, cook and do laundry either when Jenna is not home, napping or when I am playing with her. JP also works out at home more than I do - using the pull up bar and push up handles much more often. Me on the other hand - I regularly cook with her at my heels, have her help with me laundry, and have her invest in the home by helping me straighten up, especially her stuff. As for workouts, I have an aversion to working out at home...not sure what it is, but abs are about the extent of what I will work out at home. As a result, whether it's true or not, we have taught her that Mommy cooks, cleans and does laundry and Daddy works out. Fortunately, she seeks to emulate both of us, so she tries to do all of it.
We will see where we go from here, but the observation of this in a more person sense, and less an academic one, is both interesting, fun and terrifying.
I'll leave you with a few of our fun moments from the past week...Jenna's front double bicep pose...
Jenna loves the pull up bar - this is her from the first night she wanted to do it. We discovered then that she can hang holding her own body weight, but even more impressive is the fact that she surprised us by doing a pull up all on her own...watch at about 16 seconds here...
And more of Jenna hanging on the bar and doing some assisted pull ups...
That title kept coming to mind, since it is so much our instinct to want to do this with our children. For example, JP and I make a concerted effort not to curse around Jenna. Yeah, don't judge. Any and ever one who knows us knows this area leaves a lot of improvement for both of us. Should we slip up and Jenna start repeating it, as she does (she doesn't miss one word or phrase...ever), what is the est course of action? If we act shocked, it encourages the behavior. If we laugh same thing. If we tell her that's a bad word, what is that telling her, since she learned it from Mommy or Daddy? At the end of the day, this has already happened, and we have learned the best course of action is no reaction. When we don't react, she says it a couple of times in quick succession, and then moves on to something else. But these things are the obvious things. The things she models immediately. These are the things we think of most often when we think of children Jenna's age. But what are the real lessons she is learning?
Let me use an example to illustrate the point of this question. Yesterday, as Mommy was stereo-typically cleaning the inside of the house and Daddy was stereo-typically mowing the lawn (no leading in the choice words here...lol), Jenna promptly pulls the broom out of the closet and starts "sweeping" the floor. As she is doing so , she says, "Mommy broom" or "Mommy sweep." A little later, JP walks in the house, and she grabs one of his push up bars, gets down on it and starts to mock doing a push up. As she is doing that, she says, "Daddy workout" or "Daddy pull up" (I'll have more on the pull up in a minute). As she did this, it struck me that we have somehow managed to already teach her some very stereo-typical gender roles - as in Mommy cleans and Daddy works out. JP said we somehow are teaching this to her. Which is interesting, given that JP honestly cleans, cooks and does as much laundry as I do, and I work out just as much as he does.
But then it occurred to me...JP tends to clean, cook and do laundry either when Jenna is not home, napping or when I am playing with her. JP also works out at home more than I do - using the pull up bar and push up handles much more often. Me on the other hand - I regularly cook with her at my heels, have her help with me laundry, and have her invest in the home by helping me straighten up, especially her stuff. As for workouts, I have an aversion to working out at home...not sure what it is, but abs are about the extent of what I will work out at home. As a result, whether it's true or not, we have taught her that Mommy cooks, cleans and does laundry and Daddy works out. Fortunately, she seeks to emulate both of us, so she tries to do all of it.
We will see where we go from here, but the observation of this in a more person sense, and less an academic one, is both interesting, fun and terrifying.
I'll leave you with a few of our fun moments from the past week...Jenna's front double bicep pose...
Jenna loves the pull up bar - this is her from the first night she wanted to do it. We discovered then that she can hang holding her own body weight, but even more impressive is the fact that she surprised us by doing a pull up all on her own...watch at about 16 seconds here...
And more of Jenna hanging on the bar and doing some assisted pull ups...
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