Two Labors and a Delivery...
I have had a few people ask, so here it goes....
My labor can be summed up buy the saying, "The only guarantees are that there are no guarantees..."
Labor #1: Hours 0-15
Needless to say, I didn't have the opportunity to have a slow starting labor. Most women I have talked to, and literature I read, prepared me for an experience that could take hours to progress into something significant. As a result, part of our natural birth plan was for me to stay at home during the first stage of labor so I could do so in the comfort of my own home. The doctor was on board with this, and even told me that I would be sent home from the hospital if I came with contractions more than 5-6 minutes apart and lasting less than 45 seconds long.
As a result, I didn't think anything of it when I was woken up by my water breaking at 3:30am. I laid back down for a minute, expecting that I would go back to sleep, as I fully expecting that my contractions may or may not start up right away. And fully thinking if they did, that I would have significant amounts of time between the contractions to continue to rest. By 3:45 I realized I wasn't going back to sleep, so I got up, had something to eat (thank goodness, because it was the last meal I would have for 30+ hours), and took to merging my iPhone and Goodle contacts (something I had been meaning to get to for a few weeks).
By 4:30am I realized I needed to start timing my contractions. Of course, there is an iPhone application for that, and when I started timing them, my contractions were already less than 5 minutes apart, and already lasting as long as 45-60 seconds. By the time I woke JP up at 6am, they were less than 4 minutes apart, and by the time we called the doctor's office at 7am, they were as close as 2.5 minutes apart and lasting as long as 1:45. Needless to say, they yelled at us to get there as soon as possible! Lol. As a result, I was very excited, thinking that I would have a short labor (like my Mom, who had a few contractions and pushed twice, and there I was). Not so much.
When I got to the hospital, I was still only measuring 2 centimeters, which I had been for at least a week. This should have been my first clue that things were not going to go as planned, but we were admitted with high hopes and the excitement that comes with knowing we are finally going to meet our bundle of joy. The thought that my dilation didn't match with my labor never even occurred to me.
As time ticked by, my labor progressed on, with the contractions getting stronger and longer. By 1pm my contractions were lasting as long as 3 minutes with only a small time in between to rest. She did a check on me, and I had only progressed to 4 centimeters. She said she could feel a lot of scar tissue on my cervix from my surgery a few years ago, and slowly started massaging my cervix to try to break up the scar tissue. After that my contractions got so intense that I could hardly keep my sanity during them, but we decided to keep trying naturally. The contractions were getting so strong that we had to make some progress soon!
By three I had progressed to 6 centimeters, and she massaged my cervix some more. This gave us hope, and we decided to keep pushing on naturally, even though my resolve was starting to falter. At the end of the day, everyone left the room and gave JP and I a chance to talk. He just said to me, "I know you can do this." So we pushed on.
At this point it became nearly unbearable. I couldn't walk to the bathroom without having 3 contractions in a row, and trying to go to the bathroom would set off a series of contractions that were so intense I would just scream through them. JP was so good through all of this. He was there with me through it all, and never once missed a beat.
By the time the doctor came back to check me at 5:30, I had been having hard, "transitional" labor for over three hours. I just KNEW they were going to tell me it was time to start pushing. But instead, I had only progressed another half a centimeter. At that point I had been in labor for 15 hours, 13 of which were hard labor. Also, the scar tissue was keeping my cervix from opening any further on it's own, and the doctor was going to have to break it up if I had any hope of progressing and having a vaginal birth. She wasn't going to be able to do it without causing me a lot of pain, and honestly, at that point I was done with the pain. I knew it could last for hours more with little or no progression. We realized that the only hope we had of being able to hold on to a vaginal birth was to allow medical intervention, so after discussing our options with the doctor and with each other, we elected to have an epidural.
Labor #2: Hours 15-25
The main reason I wasn't progressing was due to the scar tissue on my cervix. The little the doctor had done to break it up had been excruciatingly painful, and each time had amped up my contractions to another level of intensity. The problem was that she was only able to break up a little of the scar tissue, and what remained would honestly be unbearably painful. The reason that medical intervention would need necessary to hold on to hope of vaginal birth because I would need to be anesthetized for her to be able to perform this procedure. So...enter the anesthesiologist...
After an hour more of hard labor, waiting for the obligatory liter of fluids, the anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural. It was immediate relief. If I am being honest, it was welcome relief. I was saddened by the inability to progress naturally, and cried when I made the decision to have the epidural, but I knew I had done everything I could to preserve my desire to labor naturally. Now we were doing what we could to try to preserve the desire to deliver vaginally.
One of the reasons I was so adamant about going natural is that one medical intervention leads to another...leads to another...leads to another... For many people, having an epidural actually slows their labor. Well, having a liter of fluids pushed at a rapid rate, coupled by the epidural, coupled by a drop in blood pressure usually results in needing Pitocin to re-stimulate labor. And this was the case for me. Over the course of the next 9 hours they had exponentially increased my Pitocin (going from 6ml/hour to 80+), my epidural dose, added fluids to combat dehydration, and antibiotics to combat possible infection (a concern since my temperature was rising). In the first few hours after having the scar tissue broken up, I progressed to 9.5 centimeters. We were so excited and hopeful! But then I just stayed at 9.5 centimeters for hours.
By the time 3:30am rolled around - hour 24 - we knew I wasn't going to progress any further. My contractions were more erratic with each increase in Pitocin, my epidural was heavy to one side, leaving me with total numbness on the right side, resulting in an inability to even feel or move my own leg, and "hot spots" of breakthrough pain on the left side. We had been 6+ hours at 9.5 centimeters. I had been 24 hours without food, water or sleep. Everyone gave us a minute to talk (us being JP and I). The doctor said she was making the medical recommendation for a C-section, that we were starting to move in the opposite direction and were not going to be able to progress to a vaginal delivery, but would leave the final decision up to us. There really wasn't much to talk about. We knew at 1am this was probably going to be the outcome, but once again had to know that we done everything possible to preserve our desire for a vaginal birth.
We decided to agree to the C-section, and let the doctor and the L&D staff know. There were two other C-sections ahead of us on the OR schedule - a couple with twins, one in distress, and another couple who had labored as long as us and were in a similar situation. As a result, we waited an hour for our spot on the OR roster. I'll blog about our feelings with the experiences in another blog post, but it was a very emotional hour for both of us, as they prepped me, gave him his scrubs, and told us what to expect.
The Delivery: Caesarean Section
Not a lot to report here. They wheeled me in to the OR, leaving JP in a chair outside while they did the final preparations for surgery. We had been assured that he would be with me during the birth portion of the procedure, and he was. All 10 minutes of it. Forgive my bitterness. Actually, it's sadness. I have to stress that the doctor and staff were wonderful and truly did everything they could to help support our decision to go natural, and then to try to have a vaginal birth. But a C-section IS major surgery, and as a result, it was a very traumatic process for both JP and I. And it was the one outcome we wanted to avoid at all costs. These facts leave me tremendously sad.
As I said before, I am really chronicling the labor and delivery progress here. This is already a long blog, and I feel a strong desire to also share the emotional element of our experience, and will do so in another post. I will keep it simple by saying that I cannot begin to understand why someone would elect to have a C-section when vaginal birth is an option for them.
Back on topic......at 4:47am, after 25 hours of labor, our daughter was born! She weighed in at a healthy 9 pounds, 3 ounces and was 21 1/4 inches long. She's so very beautiful!
They say that they call it labor for a reason. This suggests a negative attachment to the process of labor. I like to think of it as a labor of love. Each moment of our labor, each decision to try to salvage natural birth, then vaginal birth, and then to have the C-section, was a decision of love for this little being. We wanted to experience everything God had intended when he created the process. We experienced some of it, and certainly have knowledge of all three ways of approaching labor a delivery. This was all done out of love - hope and love.
Someone gave me a wall decoration for the baby's room that said, "God danced the day you were born." Many people danced when Jenna was born, including JP and I. But I have to say that pregnancy, labor and delivery are a beautiful gift. And an experience of a lifetime. For that reason, I do believe that did God dance indeed!
My labor can be summed up buy the saying, "The only guarantees are that there are no guarantees..."
Labor #1: Hours 0-15
Needless to say, I didn't have the opportunity to have a slow starting labor. Most women I have talked to, and literature I read, prepared me for an experience that could take hours to progress into something significant. As a result, part of our natural birth plan was for me to stay at home during the first stage of labor so I could do so in the comfort of my own home. The doctor was on board with this, and even told me that I would be sent home from the hospital if I came with contractions more than 5-6 minutes apart and lasting less than 45 seconds long.
As a result, I didn't think anything of it when I was woken up by my water breaking at 3:30am. I laid back down for a minute, expecting that I would go back to sleep, as I fully expecting that my contractions may or may not start up right away. And fully thinking if they did, that I would have significant amounts of time between the contractions to continue to rest. By 3:45 I realized I wasn't going back to sleep, so I got up, had something to eat (thank goodness, because it was the last meal I would have for 30+ hours), and took to merging my iPhone and Goodle contacts (something I had been meaning to get to for a few weeks).
By 4:30am I realized I needed to start timing my contractions. Of course, there is an iPhone application for that, and when I started timing them, my contractions were already less than 5 minutes apart, and already lasting as long as 45-60 seconds. By the time I woke JP up at 6am, they were less than 4 minutes apart, and by the time we called the doctor's office at 7am, they were as close as 2.5 minutes apart and lasting as long as 1:45. Needless to say, they yelled at us to get there as soon as possible! Lol. As a result, I was very excited, thinking that I would have a short labor (like my Mom, who had a few contractions and pushed twice, and there I was). Not so much.
When I got to the hospital, I was still only measuring 2 centimeters, which I had been for at least a week. This should have been my first clue that things were not going to go as planned, but we were admitted with high hopes and the excitement that comes with knowing we are finally going to meet our bundle of joy. The thought that my dilation didn't match with my labor never even occurred to me.
As time ticked by, my labor progressed on, with the contractions getting stronger and longer. By 1pm my contractions were lasting as long as 3 minutes with only a small time in between to rest. She did a check on me, and I had only progressed to 4 centimeters. She said she could feel a lot of scar tissue on my cervix from my surgery a few years ago, and slowly started massaging my cervix to try to break up the scar tissue. After that my contractions got so intense that I could hardly keep my sanity during them, but we decided to keep trying naturally. The contractions were getting so strong that we had to make some progress soon!
By three I had progressed to 6 centimeters, and she massaged my cervix some more. This gave us hope, and we decided to keep pushing on naturally, even though my resolve was starting to falter. At the end of the day, everyone left the room and gave JP and I a chance to talk. He just said to me, "I know you can do this." So we pushed on.
At this point it became nearly unbearable. I couldn't walk to the bathroom without having 3 contractions in a row, and trying to go to the bathroom would set off a series of contractions that were so intense I would just scream through them. JP was so good through all of this. He was there with me through it all, and never once missed a beat.
By the time the doctor came back to check me at 5:30, I had been having hard, "transitional" labor for over three hours. I just KNEW they were going to tell me it was time to start pushing. But instead, I had only progressed another half a centimeter. At that point I had been in labor for 15 hours, 13 of which were hard labor. Also, the scar tissue was keeping my cervix from opening any further on it's own, and the doctor was going to have to break it up if I had any hope of progressing and having a vaginal birth. She wasn't going to be able to do it without causing me a lot of pain, and honestly, at that point I was done with the pain. I knew it could last for hours more with little or no progression. We realized that the only hope we had of being able to hold on to a vaginal birth was to allow medical intervention, so after discussing our options with the doctor and with each other, we elected to have an epidural.
Labor #2: Hours 15-25
The main reason I wasn't progressing was due to the scar tissue on my cervix. The little the doctor had done to break it up had been excruciatingly painful, and each time had amped up my contractions to another level of intensity. The problem was that she was only able to break up a little of the scar tissue, and what remained would honestly be unbearably painful. The reason that medical intervention would need necessary to hold on to hope of vaginal birth because I would need to be anesthetized for her to be able to perform this procedure. So...enter the anesthesiologist...
After an hour more of hard labor, waiting for the obligatory liter of fluids, the anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural. It was immediate relief. If I am being honest, it was welcome relief. I was saddened by the inability to progress naturally, and cried when I made the decision to have the epidural, but I knew I had done everything I could to preserve my desire to labor naturally. Now we were doing what we could to try to preserve the desire to deliver vaginally.
One of the reasons I was so adamant about going natural is that one medical intervention leads to another...leads to another...leads to another... For many people, having an epidural actually slows their labor. Well, having a liter of fluids pushed at a rapid rate, coupled by the epidural, coupled by a drop in blood pressure usually results in needing Pitocin to re-stimulate labor. And this was the case for me. Over the course of the next 9 hours they had exponentially increased my Pitocin (going from 6ml/hour to 80+), my epidural dose, added fluids to combat dehydration, and antibiotics to combat possible infection (a concern since my temperature was rising). In the first few hours after having the scar tissue broken up, I progressed to 9.5 centimeters. We were so excited and hopeful! But then I just stayed at 9.5 centimeters for hours.
By the time 3:30am rolled around - hour 24 - we knew I wasn't going to progress any further. My contractions were more erratic with each increase in Pitocin, my epidural was heavy to one side, leaving me with total numbness on the right side, resulting in an inability to even feel or move my own leg, and "hot spots" of breakthrough pain on the left side. We had been 6+ hours at 9.5 centimeters. I had been 24 hours without food, water or sleep. Everyone gave us a minute to talk (us being JP and I). The doctor said she was making the medical recommendation for a C-section, that we were starting to move in the opposite direction and were not going to be able to progress to a vaginal delivery, but would leave the final decision up to us. There really wasn't much to talk about. We knew at 1am this was probably going to be the outcome, but once again had to know that we done everything possible to preserve our desire for a vaginal birth.
We decided to agree to the C-section, and let the doctor and the L&D staff know. There were two other C-sections ahead of us on the OR schedule - a couple with twins, one in distress, and another couple who had labored as long as us and were in a similar situation. As a result, we waited an hour for our spot on the OR roster. I'll blog about our feelings with the experiences in another blog post, but it was a very emotional hour for both of us, as they prepped me, gave him his scrubs, and told us what to expect.
The Delivery: Caesarean Section
Not a lot to report here. They wheeled me in to the OR, leaving JP in a chair outside while they did the final preparations for surgery. We had been assured that he would be with me during the birth portion of the procedure, and he was. All 10 minutes of it. Forgive my bitterness. Actually, it's sadness. I have to stress that the doctor and staff were wonderful and truly did everything they could to help support our decision to go natural, and then to try to have a vaginal birth. But a C-section IS major surgery, and as a result, it was a very traumatic process for both JP and I. And it was the one outcome we wanted to avoid at all costs. These facts leave me tremendously sad.
As I said before, I am really chronicling the labor and delivery progress here. This is already a long blog, and I feel a strong desire to also share the emotional element of our experience, and will do so in another post. I will keep it simple by saying that I cannot begin to understand why someone would elect to have a C-section when vaginal birth is an option for them.
Back on topic......at 4:47am, after 25 hours of labor, our daughter was born! She weighed in at a healthy 9 pounds, 3 ounces and was 21 1/4 inches long. She's so very beautiful!
They say that they call it labor for a reason. This suggests a negative attachment to the process of labor. I like to think of it as a labor of love. Each moment of our labor, each decision to try to salvage natural birth, then vaginal birth, and then to have the C-section, was a decision of love for this little being. We wanted to experience everything God had intended when he created the process. We experienced some of it, and certainly have knowledge of all three ways of approaching labor a delivery. This was all done out of love - hope and love.
Someone gave me a wall decoration for the baby's room that said, "God danced the day you were born." Many people danced when Jenna was born, including JP and I. But I have to say that pregnancy, labor and delivery are a beautiful gift. And an experience of a lifetime. For that reason, I do believe that did God dance indeed!
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